Felid
by Inix Cruz
Summary: Sequel to Leonine. Rachel becomes Kitty Rachel and then becomes Jewfasa. Enter Lion Quinn into the mix and pure love happens. Crack!fic. Kitty!Rachel. Lion!Rachel. More Lion!Quinn. More Faberry. More Finn bashing.


Author's Note: Hi, guys. Thanks for all the reviews I got from _Leonine_. Sweet grilled cheesus, I didn't expect this much response at all and I really appreciate the reviews and alerts. You don't know how much it means to me. So me being sentimental aside, a few of you requested for a sequel. And here it is. Also, I would like to give a special shout out to** fiercezucchini**. Hope you don't mind that I borrowed Lion Quinn and Jewfasa. Also, whoever made Rachel as Kitty!Rachel, thank you. Anyway, I hope you all like this, too. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Felid<p>

* * *

><p><span>March 5, 2012 – Monday – Choir Room<span>

"That's it!"

Finn stood with a grin on his face, and if this was a cartoon, a bulb would light up over his head. Except it would be a dim bulb. A very, very, very dim bulb.

Santana rolled her eyes after she had watched the chair's back clatter flat on the ground. God, what was it with him and chairs?

"What now?" Puck asked, putting down his guitar to listen to whatever stupid idea Finn would voice out soon.

"I'm going to win Rachel back," Finn said, his lips in a grim line as he nodded to himself. "I know she still loves me. She's always and will be mine. "

Tina facepalmed. "Oh, God, here we go."

"We finally get to see four girls make out and you want them to break up, Finnessa? Puckasaurus can finally have a threesome." Puck sighed, imaginations running wild. "Hell, even a fivesome."

"Dream on, Puck. And please, you never even saw me and Britt make out. You can't handle it," Santana said, having the urge to scoff at him. "And if you're talking about Tubbers and Hobbit making out, well, that's just fucking disgusting."

"I think it'd be totally hot," Brittany said and Santana scowled in her seat, crossing her arms as she did so. "I mean, not as hot as us, but you know."

"Guys, I do_ not_ want to hear your crude fantasies when I just had my lunch ten minutes ago," Kurt said.

"Seriously, this love triangle is overused and tedious," Mercedes said, shaking her head. "Can't you just move on and find some nice girl that isn't Rachel or Quinn?"

Santana nodded and shrugged. "You could just go gay for all I care."

"You would make an awesome unicorn."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow at Brittany's comment. "Please, with that sense of style, he wouldn't even make it as a corn."

"Oh wait, never mind. I totally forgot he's a different animal."

Mercedes looked at Brittany. "What?"

"Finn's a constipated giraffe."

"Hey!" Finn glared at her, before shying away when Santana glowered at him, ready to cut off his balls.

"Is she always this…?" Blaine tried to find the right words.

"Random? This isn't even random yet. Not even close," Kurt said, before leaning over to Blaine. "It's like she has her own random rainbow land of randomness in her head that I do not want to delve into."

"Indeed," Mike said, nodding. "One time, when we were practicing for the 'Valerie' choreography, she said to me Santana needed to ride me into the sunset like I'm some kind of llama so we could win."

Blaine grimaced. "That sounds really sexual."

"Guys, listen!" Finn said, making a motion with his hands to control everybody. "You all need to help me out so I could win Rachel back."

Santana's face lit up. "Oh, I got an idea." Then her features fell. "Why don't you just go tell her all that cheesy crap you do so Q will just go apeshit on you for all of our sakes."

* * *

><p><span>The Berry House<span>

"_Everything the light touches…_."

Adrenaline pumped into one Quinn Fabray, her eyes having that familiar feral twinkle.

"Belongs to me." Quinn's body went rigid as she said those words.

"The correct line is 'everything the light touches is our kingdom', Quinn." Rachel's hand stopped from feeding her mouth with the vegan popcorn she cupped when Quinn made a sound of approval. Rachel's head turned to the blonde's direction. "Quinn? Are you alright?"

"Come closer."

This time, her whole body twisted towards Quinn, her eyebrows scrunched up at the demand. "We're already cuddling, Quinn. I think this is as humanly close as we can possibly get."

"No."

"…Okay?"

"Boobs."

* * *

><p><span>March 6, 2012 – Tuesday – Choir Room<span>

Santana got tears in her eyes. This was too much for her to take. Quinn needed to have all the awards in the world. She even wanted to give her a pat on the back if she were here right now.

"So, you mean to tell me," Santana laughed out, her sides already hurting as though she just had run a marathon. "Q just grabbed your tits and then played with them like they were some kind of stress balls?"

Kurt cringed at the thought and proceeded to glare at Santana. "Thank you, Santana, for putting it so mildly and modestly."

Mercedes also made a face. "It ain't a pretty thought."

Rachel blew a stray strand of her hair before crossing her arms with a frown. "I specifically made a PowerPoint Presentation that we were in a strict under the shirt, over the bra policy."

"So fucking hot." Puck squirmed in his seat. "Just from that, I really don't care anymore if I never got to second base with you. Just those thoughts…."

Finn's face went red as the thought of Quinn being able to grope her after a few months of dating ran through his head. "That's not true right, Rach?"

"I think she's telling the truth, Finn," Artie said.

"Yeah," Brittany said. "It's because Lion Quinn's back."

* * *

><p><span>McKinley<span> High School Grounds

Blaine spitted out his orange juice and dropped the entire bottle. Kurt coughed out his bite of his sandwich. Mike was doing the Heimlich maneuver on a choking Tina. Puck was already under the branch, peeking up Rachel's short plaid skirt, until Mercedes slapped him on the back of the head. Santana was smiling and shaking her head when she noticed Brittany trying to save Rachel through the means of jumping up and down to reach the latter's leg.

Blaine's eyebrows scrunched. "Kurt, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"And I thought I'd get used to the idea of it by now."

There, by the tree, was Rachel hanging on a branch, her petite self trying to hold on as much as she could. What was odder was there was one big giant spotlight from the AV club on her.

"Oh, thank God you're all here. Please help me."

"What happened?" Tina asked as she looked up after she had requested Blaine and Mike to find a ladder. Puck glanced back and forth between Rachel's legs and to the retreating figures. But when Mercedes glared at him, he decided to follow the boys with a frown and a string of expletives.

"Quinn happened," Rachel said, her frown deepening. "She said Finn was going to get me."

"Well, shit, Berry. Q's a fucking spider monkey if she got you all the way up there. And what's with the spotlight?"

"Everything the light touches is hers," Brittany said and shrugged when everyone there looked at her.

"Okay," Mercedes said with a drawl. "I'm getting out of here. This is all too crazy for my taste."

"Rachel," Blaine said as he staggered towards the tree, carrying the ladder with all his might along with Puck and Mike. "Don't worry. We'll get you down there as soon as we can."

On cue, Quinn appeared on the tree branch next to where Rachel hanged on. "No. Everything the light touches belongs to me."

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

"Told you so."

* * *

><p><span>March 9, 2012 – Friday – Park<span>

"Why is this happening for the second time, Brittany? I thought this whole thing was over a few months ago," Rachel said as she passed a hand through hair in exasperation. "I already attempted to cure her with the_ Lion King_ movie thrice and nothing happened."

Well, a lot had happened but she didn't want to scar Brittany for life. Even_ she_ was a little afraid at how this Quinn's inner lion was so much more aggressive than the previous Quinn's inner lion. The former one had been contented in holding her and touching her and she could control her, but this one, one could say, was so much worse than Puck and Jacob Ben Israel combined. Possessive and perverted couldn't even begin to summarize this Quinn.

"Itell said that the spirit animal would only come out if something's going on right? Well, Finn told us he was going to win you back."

"Should I be worried about that last part?"

"No, you have Lion Quinn. But anyway, you should totally be in my _Fondue for Two_," Brittany said, changing the topic. "I'm going to feature Itell on the show tomorrow 'cause I caught Charity reading my diary again. And maybe there you could ask her about Quinn."

Rachel Berry wasn't partial in sharing her current problems to Brittany's audience, but she needed to get ready if it was the real deal, right? Also, she didn't want to go back to the psychic shop with this perverted Quinn the second time around, so the answer seemed obvious.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p><span>March 10, 2012 – Saturday – The Pierce House<span>

As the _Fondue for Two_ theme song ended, Rachel put her best show face on.

"I'm Brittany S. Pierce and this is another webisode of your favorite show, _Fondue for Two_." Brittany sat across her two guests. "My first two guests are Rachel Berry, who's having cat problems, and Weejie B. Oard, my cat's psychic's friend since Itell can't be here today."

"Hello." Rachel gave out a beaming grin as she waved as best as she could when Lord Tubbington decided to rub her leg like a scratch post.

"Hello." Weejie wasn't as enthusiastic as Rachel but gave out a wave and a small smile nonetheless.

"Let's get some hot dish. So, Rachel, Lion Quinn is back." Brittany dipped the bread into the steaming pot of God knows what—Rachel didn't want to know—before saying, "How did it happen?"

Rachel spilled the necessary details but as Weejie listened on and on, her concern grew not just for this Quinn person, but for the brunette sitting beside her as well.

"If you don't mind," Weejie said. "Can I read you?"

Rachel paused for a moment but agreed and showed Weejie her hand. "Certainly."

Weejie took it and read her palm's lines. It was just as she suspected. Something was going to happen to Rachel.

"Are you alright?"

The woman looked up at Rachel. "Yes, I'm okay. But I'm not really sure about you being okay, though."

Rachel sighed. When she had heard from Brittany earlier today that Itell wouldn't be here, she found herself a bit disappointed. And when she had first seen the African-American woman with the turban, oversized rings, and an epilepsy-inducing shawl, the word 'ridiculous' came to mind. Sure, she believed a tiny bit now in psychics, but this woman looked like she came out from a horror movie where she played the fortune teller who told the main character he would die if he wouldn't do this or that.

"Thank you for your insight," Rachel said, averting her eyes to Brittany when the woman gauged her. "But I feel fine and this is about Quinn."

Weejie shook her head. "Just heed my warning. And Brittany." Brittany nodded, as if she knew. "I'll tell you what to do later."

* * *

><p><span>March 11, 2012 – Sunday – The Berry House<span>

Rachel opened the door after the doorbell had rung twice. She was alone in their home yet again, her dads out for their weekly karaoke nights with their friends.

"Hi, Rach."

Rachel looked up to see a tall boy in his letterman jacket. She resisted rolling her eyes. "Hello, Finn."

"So, I was wondering," Finn scratched the back of his head, trying to act shy and all but ended up looking like he had a massive case of lice. What had she seen in this boy? He had as little sexual appeal as Hello Kitty wearing a tutu. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me this Friday. I just heard there's a new restaurant just ten minutes from here and they got vegan food."

Rachel sighed, opening the door a little further and leaned onto it as she shivered in the spring wind. "Finn, you have to understand I'm dating Quinn."

"Yeah, I know. But I think you don't really go well together."

"Well, I do appreciate your opinion but we think otherwise," Rachel said, wiping off a sheen of sweat on her forehead with her pink handkerchief. "We've been getting along nicely."

"Come on, Rach. Don't play hard to get," Finn said, raising his arms before they flopped back to his sides. "You should break up with her and get back with me."

"Just go home, Finn."

And before he could even argue, Rachel slammed the door with a vengeance, hitting Finn's nose being the result.

* * *

><p><span>March 14, 2012 – Wednesday – The Berry House<span>

Sweat trickled on Rachel's forehead as she tossed and turned on her bed. Maybe this was Weejie's warning that something out of norm was going to happen to her, and maybe, that something made Quinn's inner lion worse. She shook her head, finding her logic mindboggling right now. It was the heat, Rachel decided, in the room that made her delirious.

Rachel moaned as she sat up and threw her duvet on the floor. It was like her hormones were singing to her in chorus as she arched her back to relieve the indescribable tingle within her, but to no avail.

She never felt like this before. To describe it as unbearable and agonizing, not to mention inconvenient, was the understatement of the night.

* * *

><p><span>The Fabray House<span>

Quinn's ear twitched at her girlfriend's sound and awoke from her slumber and dreams of her and Rachel getting naked together. She shot up in an instant, jumped out of the window, and divested herself of her clothes as she ran across the empty streets of Lima, Ohio.

* * *

><p><span>The Berry House<span>

"Rachel." Quinn's licked her lips after she had gone through the window with ease. If she thought her smell before was heaven, this was just… there were just no words to describe it.

"Quinn, please put your clothes back on and go home." Rachel didn't have time for this, her eyes shut as she resisted moaning again for the umpteenth time of the night. Clad in her panties and tank, she battled another heat wave she was experiencing yet again. "This is the fourth night in a row, and my answer again is and always will be no. We are _not_ going to mate."

"No."

"Quinn, please. I-I'm not feeling well," Rachel said, opening her eyes enough for her to see Quinn hovering in front of her. Quinn didn't bother replying as she pounced on Rachel.

"Quinn! Stop taking my clothes off!"

"No."

"I told you, we are not going to have sex!"

"No." Quinn's head settled between Rachel's inner thighs, not patient enough to have foreplay. She licked her lips before diving right in.

"No! Oh, God. _Yes_." Rachel's head hit the headboard as she convulsed right then and there at Quinn's eager licks, her itch she didn't know she had_ finally_ being scratched.

"Mine."

"…Quinn, please don't use your teeth."

"No."

"And wait, are you growling into my—? Oh, wow."

* * *

><p><span>The Berry House<span>

Leroy fisted two pillows and smashed them into his ears, trying to muffle the sounds Rachel was eliciting along with the sounds reverberating throughout their home.

"Leroy, _please _tell me she's not doing it with that Quinn girl," Hiram whispered, drowning out the wanton sounds. He swore the house shook a little when another _bang_ resounded. "Did you forget to mention the open door policy when we had the talk with the two girls? I'm worried about Rachel."

"You're worried about _her_?" Leroy rolled over and Hiram almost screamed when he saw the former's eye bags that could probably retain water and red eyes. It was not a good look on him. "I'm more worried about the building foundation of our house from the way they're doing it. If they don't stop now, this house will be in shambles by the time I get up for work."

* * *

><p><span>March 15, 2012 – Thursday – The Berry House<span>

"Wake up," a very naked Rachel, with her hair a mess, said as she licked her ear. She was feeling a lot more serious than usual, like she was angry at something but didn't know _what_ she was angry at.

Quinn yawned and stretched before turning her back on Rachel. "No."

"You do not say no to me." Rachel proceeded to bite her on the neck.

"Ow!"

Rachel growled. "You must take me again. I must tame you."

"No."

"Well then, I think you are a frail one and you do not deserve to have me." Rachel got up, leaving her alone in bed.

Quinn wanted to cry. She had meant to say yes.

* * *

><p><span>McKinley Halls — Puck's Locker<span>

Quinn grabbed Puck by the collar and dragged him secluded corner.

"Whoa, easy," Puck said as he straightened his jacket.

"I need handcuffs."

Quinn must have remembered Puck had a friend in law enforcement. "Ooh, kinky. You finally agreed to my proposal on having a threesome?"

Quinn snarled at him. "No. I must have my lunch."

Puck raised his hands in the air. "Okay, okay."

* * *

><p><span>Choir Room<span>

Quinn limped into the choir room, a grin plastered in her face. Rachel staggered behind her with a pair of handcuffs still locked around one hand. The rest of the glee club members looked on as the two sat on the far side of the corner, ignoring them.

"Holy hell, what happened?" Mike asked, although he didn't want to know the answer.

"Looks like Quinn got laid." Santana raised an eyebrow and an eventual sneer crossed her features. "And to Berry of all people."

"Oh my God. This is something I can never unsee. Ever." Kurt covered his eyes with one hand, wanting this day to end already.

Puck's jaw slackened at the sight of bruises, prominent welts, and hickeys everywhere on Quinn's exposed body. He was going to pray tonight and thank God that he agreed giving Quinn what she wanted. He didn't even care to wonder where she got the whip marks. "Mailman, mailman… sweet Jesus, my number one Heb, I could die happy now."

"Kitty Rachel is now a lion."

"What the hell are you talking about, Brittany?" Mercedes asked.

"Kitty Rachel was in heat, Lion Quinn had a lot of sexy times with her, and now Rachel is a lion."

"You just had to ask, Mercedes," Kurt said, massaging his temples with his index fingers. "I mean, really. _Really_?"

"So this spirit animal thing. It's like _Pokémon_?" the furrow between Artie's eyebrows grew deeper as he rearranged his glasses. "Like Pikachu transforming into a Raichu?"

Brittany shrugged. "Yeah, but it all depends,"

Tina also scrunched up her eyebrows. "How do you know all of this stuff anyway, Brittany?"

"Well I already know a tiny bit of it just from Itell and Weejie, but ever since I've discovered Charity's been reading my diary again, I thought I'd get revenge by reading hers," Brittany said. "She has a section that talks about spirit animals. That's why I know Rachel can evolve from a domestic cat to a lion."

"So that's why Rachel was sweating a lot before this happened," Mike said and Finn couldn't believe the former just fell for Brittany's explanation.

"Yeah. She was talking nonstop."

Et tu, Tina?

"Hobbit talks all the time, genius."

"No, I mean, she _really _didn't stop talking. Like she was doing a mantra or something," Tina said. "And Quinn followed her more than usual."

"Great. Now we've got two to deal with." Mercedes wanted to transfer to Shelby's glee club now. Even Sugar's self-diagnosed Asperger's was music to her ears compared to this.

"Oh! Oh!" Puck bounced on his seat, still in his own world. "I wonder who tops? I bet it's Quinn, with the handcuffs and all."

"So it's now Lion Quinn and…." Blaine placed his index finger on his chin as he stared up at the ceiling, like the answer was there.

Mike scratched his head. "Lion Rachel?"

"No. That's overused."

"What about Leo Rachel?"

"Ugh, what is she? A horoscope sign?" Santana jeered at Kurt.

"What about another _Lion King_ reference? You know, since Lion King is Lion Quinn," Artie said.

"Sarabi? Nala?"

"Uh, just no. Too African." Puck shook his head. "Rachel's my fellow hot Jew. She should highlight our proud awesome Jewish heritage."

"Jew… what about Jewba? You know, Jewish and Simba?"

"Hell to the no. It makes me think of Chewbacca."

"Mufasa… Jewfasa?"

Santana smirked, tapping Brittany's nose. "Bingo. Lion Quinn and Jewfasa."

"No fair. You just chose that name 'cause it was Brittany's idea."

"Shut it, Puckerman. We're going with that," Santana said. "And you have to admit, it sounds great."

Mike nodded. "I have to agree. It just rolls off the tongue just right."

Another round of agreements was heard as they chanted the new name of Rachel's kitty-now-turned-lion spirit animal and even Puck had to admit it was a good sounding name.

"It has a scary, intimidating ring to it, too." Artie said.

"Jewfasa," Puck whispered as the others joined in and echoed the new name. "Jewfasa, Jewfasa, Jewfasa."

"Why are you naming them?" Finn, who didn't join in their current merriment, glowered at them. "And how can she do this to me?"

"As your concerned stepbrother, Finn, you should really get your nose checked rather than pining after Jewfasa, who is clearly happy with her relationship with the Lion Quinn." Kurt said, emphasizing Quinn and Rachel's alternative names.

"She lied to me." Finn inserted another tissue into his still bleeding nostril, wincing a bit. "She said she was going to lose her virginity at twenty-five. And she's supposed to be with me."

"Oh just shut up, Finnocence," Santana said with her usual venom. "Just be happy you're not beaten up by any of them. Yet."

"So, if Rachel's now Jewfasa…." Artie leaned back on his wheelchair as he held up a hand. "Wait, isn't she vegan? She's a lion now, and lions are carnivores."

"I've never thought of that," Tina said. "Maybe she'll still eat salad or something."

"Who the hell cares."

"Anyway, I have to cure them now." Brittany stood and tried to approach the two girls, until Santana gripped her wrist. "What's the matter, San?"

Santana smirked. "Let's just leave them like that for a while." Santana had thoughts of Quinn and Rachel being all savage in school. No one would dare to slushie or bully them again. "Just for another couple of days, at least."

"Oh, okay." Brittany shrugged and sat back down.

"Wait, wait. So we're just going to leave them like that?" Mike asked. "What about practices and assemblies?"

"We can have them act like lions on stage if we have to. No big deal."

"Ooh, I have the perfect song." Kurt whipped out a music sheet of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight". "We should let Brad play this. It'd be so dramatic and romantic. And I can finally have a solo."

Brad shook his head at the suggestion, having no desire to play that while Rachel and Quinn would play out the Nala and Simba scene in front of him.

"What about me? Everytime I have a solo, someone always cuts me off," Tina said. "I think I should have a turn."

Mercedes raised a hand, raising an index finger. "Whoa, hold up. And what about me? This diva needs the stage."

"Oh, hells no. I'm going to gets my solo on or else I'm going to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on all of you."

Blaine leaned into Kurt's ear before whispering, "Why does Santana always talk like that? I thought her dad's a doctor."

Kurt didn't hear Blaine's question as he stood, fighting for the coveted spot for a solo. Meanwhile, Rachel and Quinn were in their own little place.

"Everything the light touches belong to ours." Quinn licked Rachel's cheek. "And you belong to Lion Quinn."

"Jewfasa likes that," Rachel whispered. She nuzzled into Quinn's neck, the handcuffs still dangling around her right wrist.

And now they would rule Gay Pride together.

* * *

><p><span>March 19, 2012 – Monday – McKinley Halls<span>

"It's refreshing to see that you're not in your letterman jacket, Finn," Kurt said after he had smiled and nodded. "A puma on your shirt is a very bold yet chic statement."

"Yeah? I thought this was a lion." Finn glanced down at the shirt with his usual clueless face before shrugging. "Anyway, I'm going to impress Rachel with this, since she's now Jewfasa and all."

The name was catching on, much to everyone's delight and amusement. And before Finn could even open his locker, Quinn flew out of nowhere to land on Finn's back while Rachel's hands covered Finn's face, blinding him.

"Pumas are Lion Quinn and Jewfasa's enemies!"

"Ah! Kurt, help! Rachel's clawing my eyes out!"

* * *

><p><span>March 20, 2012 – Tuesday – Cafeteria<span>

"Wow, even if Rachel's Jewfasa now, she's still demanding as shit and Lion Quinn's still whipped as hell," Puck said as he saw Rachel scolding Quinn two tables away from them.

"But honey ham…."

"We must eat grass," Rachel said as she put the tray of fresh cut grass on the table with a loud _smack_. "We must all take our places in the Circle of Life,"

"I guess Jewfasa's still vegan, too," Artie said. Tina, Mike, Mercedes, and Blaine all but nodded when Rachel grabbed a handful and shoved it down Quinn's throat. That was, until Quinn had other plans in mind.

"Is Quinn trying to take Rachel's clothes off?"

Puck's grin widened even further. "They're going to do the nasty."

Blaine pushed his food away. "I think I just lost my appetite."

"Someone should seriously stop them," Tina said.

"No way. Not me."

"No. I won't do it."

"Not gonna happen."

"No thanks."

Mercedes shook her head. "And no, it's not going to be you, Puck."

"Aw, come on. Why the hell not?"

"Just no. So it's all on you, Tina."

"What? Why me?"

"I didn't hear you say no, so up to it."

"What am I supposed to do? Grab a handful of leaves and glue it to them?"

The five exchanged glances at each other before they grinned at Tina.

"Guys, why are you looking at me like that?"

* * *

><p><span>The Cheerios' Locker Room<span>

Santana giggled as she took Brittany's clothes off, taking the advantage of having the locker rooms to themselves.

Until Brittany tapped her in the shoulder.

Santana grunted, peppering kisses on her neck. When Brittany still wasn't responding, she leaned her forehead on the ditzy blonde's shoulder and sighed.

"Yes, Britt-Britt?" Santana asked, her low tone saccharine sweet.

"Hey, San, why do they have fig leaves for clothes?"

Santana looked up and gawked at the two women in front of her. She shook her head and blinked a few times.

"Just…." Santana grabbed their clothes and Brittany's wrist, walking backwards. "Let's just go have our cuddle on somewhere else, Britt."

* * *

><p><span>March 21, 2012 – Wednesday – Field<span>

"So this is the big emergency?" the fireman asked, pointing at Rachel and Quinn.

Sue Sylvester squinted at him. "Do you doubt me, Jonathan?"

"It's Peter."

"It doesn't suit you. You're Jonathan in my eyes," Sue said. "Now, do it."

"Why?"

"Why? Because they reek of filth and failure and they're starting to convulse people. I also do not want my immaculate hands to be violated by these two," Sue shouted through her megaphone even if Peter was at arm's length. "Now do it, Jonathan, before I hose them myself. You included."

* * *

><p><span>March 22, 2012 – Thursday – Ms. Emma Pillsbury's Guidance Office<span>

"Uh, Will?" Emma pointed at her head as if to indicate there was something on him.

Will Schuester pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know."

"Your mane, it's so beautiful." Quinn ran her hands over his hair. "How did you grow it? I must know how you grew it."

"It's quite majestic," Rachel said before she joined Quinn.

"Guys, stop with the hair jokes. Sue does that more than enough to me already." And when he tried to stand, Quinn's strong hands pushed him back down.

"No." Quinn concentrated on his hair once again.

"You must have this mane to truly win me over." Rachel looked at Quinn. "The great kings of the past will look down on you with great respect if you do."

"Then Lion Quinn must have this mane to finally have Jewfasa fully," Quinn said, a pout forming on her lips.

"I don't have a pamphlet for this, Will." Emma winced as Quinn tried to pull Will's hair out. "Sorry."

* * *

><p><span>March 23, 2012 – Friday – Choir Room<span>

"Santana, I've had _enough _of this," Mike said. "They wrecked the dance studio because Jewfasa was winning in some pinning game they were in and Lion Quinn just wouldn't let it go."

"Yeah, as much as I love me some hot girl on hot girl action, I can't stand Jewfasa licking Lion Quinn's face on the bleachers." Puck shuddered.

"They tried to kill me." Finn, with his whole body in a cast, was still recovering from the attack. "I can understand Quinn, but Rachel? I thought she loved me."

"Lion Quinn told me I was an old human wench and that I should just disappear." Artie sighed. "The wheelchair really does add a year."

"Santana, Brittany needs to cure them." Mercedes frowned at Santana and pointed at Rachel and Quinn at the far end of the choir room. "Like, right now."

"Alright, alright. Just calm down, Auntie Tana will handle this," Santana said before approaching the two girls on the other side of the room.

"Hey, Lion Quinn, Jewfasa," Santana said, her stance akimbo. "I think you should tone this—" she waved her hand in the air on them. "—whatever this is, down. You're supposed to be scaring off the people outside glee, not us."

Quinn growled. "Did you just use that tone on my mate?"

Santana snapped. No one messed with her. "And did you just use that tone with me?"

"Okay, guys, no need for violence." Tina played the peacemaker when Santana encroached into Quinn's personal space.

The latter snapped her head to their direction when a hand encircled Santana's arm, laughable that someone would dare to hold her back. She softened, though, when it was just Brittany shaking her head, saying, "Just leave it to me, okay, San?"

Santana nodded ever so slightly before glaring at Quinn.

"You won't be so lucky next time." Santana returned to her seat.

"Oh, by the way, this is only temporary, guys."

"What do you mean temporary? You mean we get to have Lion Quinn and/or Jewfasa once a month?"

"Just when something comes up," Brittany said. "And there are specific cures for specific things."

"So they're like, what, werewolves?"

"Basically, yeah."

"Brittany, just do you freaky voodoo magic, please," Kurt said and Brittany nodded. He wanted this whole nightmare to be over.

"Quinn, Rachel, do you want to hear a song?" Brittany's knees supported her hands as she bended down to peer up at the two.

"No."

"Is it about the mighty Jewfasa?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Then I would like to hear the song that highly acclaims me."

Brittany clapped her hands with a grin. She unfolded the papers she was carrying and handed it to each glee club member—except Quinn and Rachel—so they could join in.

"Hell to the _no_. I am _not _singing this."

"Well, it does suit my range," Kurt said. "But I second Mercedes."

Mike frowned. "This isn't even anywhere near my range."

"Oh come on, guys. Do you want them cured or not?"

"Just do what Brittany says." Santana wasn't as gentle as Brittany. All of them looked at each other, a pause on each person before collectively sighing as they waved the metaphorical white flag.

"I'll dance to it, I guess," Mike said.

Kurt gave in. "I'll do the intro."

Finn raised—well, tried to—a hand. "I'll drum."

"You wrecked the drums, Finnept. And how the hell are you going to drum with you looking like you've been mauled by a shark?" Puck casted his gaze at Brittany. "Let's just go with the guitar."

"Great! Let's do it."

* * *

><p><span>Choir Room<span>

It felt like it all had been a bad, lucid dream. Like she had been falling in a bottomless pit and she had had nothing to hold onto.

"Rachel? Rachel?"

Mr. Schuester waved one hand in front of her face. Rachel blinked, trying to remove the blur in her vision. "Huh?"

She could hear the voices overlapping now.

"Guys, give them room to breathe. Mike, get water."

"I'm right on it, Mr. Schue."

"I can finally win back Rachel again."

"I'm going to kick you square in the balls and you're never going to make babies if you try to chase Berry one more time."

"Well you're the one who decided to keep them like that for a couple of days."

"Say that again to my face, Finnept?"

"San, Finn, stop it."

"So no more Lion Quinn and Jewfasa? I think the Puckster's going to miss them."

"Well I for one, won't. I do _not_ want to sing the intro of 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' again."

Rachel could hear Tina sigh. "I guess no more solos for us soon."

"Oh, I'm going to get solos even if Midget's back, you can bet on that."

"Hell no. Not if I get it first."

"Guys, guys, calm down. We'll have a sing-off, alright?"

"Hey, Mr. Schue, you know you have a bald spot on your head right?"

"I know, Puck."

As Rachel sat up, an arm around her waist pulled her back down with one gentle swoop.

"Are you still Lion Quinn?" Rachel's head rested on Quinn's chest, scooting upward so Quinn could stroke her hair.

"Not anymore. Are you still Jewfasa?" Quinn bit her lip, her body quivering as she tried to hold in her laughter.

"I am going to kill the person who named me with that nickname."

"You have to go past Santana if you're going to kill Brittany," Quinn said. "Besides, your inner lion liked it, too."

Rachel sighed. She couldn't be mad at Brittany. She had helped them and Rachel owed her two now. She held in her surprise though, that she and Quinn weren't freaking out right now or even asking questions. Maybe later.

"I do admit Jewfasa is a catchy name."

"It is," Quinn said. "I think it's adorable."

"Itell never told us any of the things that just happened to us, though."

"Yeah, but we have Brittany so I won't worry about that too much. And that also means more weird memories for us to share with this motley crew."

"You running naked all the way to my room for four nights in a row, though, is something I won't live down," Rachel said aloud, smiling at the vivid thought. "And handcuffs, Quinn, really?"

"Sorry about that, Rach. I really wanted your first time to be special. Really." Rachel couldn't see Quinn's face but when Quinn's grip around her grew tighter, she knew that Quinn was bothered by it.

"It's alright. You can make it up to me." Rachel intertwined her right hand with Quinn's left and squeezed it. "It wasn't as romantic as I thought it would be, but it was… special, nonetheless."

Quinn blew out a breath she didn't know that she was holding and grinned. "…You liked the handcuffs."

"…Well, I won't say that I will mind if we explore that kind of bondage further."

"Rachel Berry, just admit it. You like it rough."

"I will, if you admit that you liked it when I was trying to tame you," Rachel said.

"Speaking of that, where _did_ you get the whip?"

"A lady never tells."

Quinn hummed, smiling as she listened to their friends and teacher argue over just about everything. They were, once again, ignoring them. After a pause, Rachel whispered to her a, "Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we get up now? You do not want me to lecture you on how dirty the choir room floor is."

"No. I like it here and we don't have to face everyone yet."

"You sound just like a wild Lion Quinn when you say that."

"Say what?"

"When you say no."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well then, will you be my Jewfasa if I'm Lion Quinn?"

Rachel rolled over on top of Quinn and pecked her on the lips. "Always."


End file.
